Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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