kristin has been a bad kristin
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
