He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
