Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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