Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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