Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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