I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
