If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
