I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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