normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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