ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
