if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
