Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
