Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
