"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
