Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
