His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
