i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
