I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just threw up on my dentist
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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