At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
