Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize