Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
