No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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