so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
