I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
