oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
