i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
