WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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