It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
