Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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