Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
