Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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