based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize
