i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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