I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
