Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I heard we made out
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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