But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm at about main and main street
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
