dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Houston, we have a blender
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
