would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
