It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
