Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
