At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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