This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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