Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
