i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
