it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
