Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
