Fine. I'll sleep in my office
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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