Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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