Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
